Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
