Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
