I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
