Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
