Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
