That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
