My brain says no but my pants say off.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
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