just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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