he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
