Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
