Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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