yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
