Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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