Screwed.edu
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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