i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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