I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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