apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Randomize
