I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
