Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
