i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
