I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
