Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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