Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
