So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
