what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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