Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
