gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
