I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
