And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
