If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The ass gains better be worth it
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