I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
