I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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