You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
