Dual....:-)
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
