Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
