I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
