There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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