she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
