Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
