I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
