Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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