So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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