We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
