she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
