I'm jealous of your bromance
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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