I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
