If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
