can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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