I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
