Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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