I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
